New PDF release: 700 Sundays

By Billy Crystal

ISBN-10: 0446578673

ISBN-13: 9780446578677

To help his relatives, Billy Crystal's father, Jack, labored jobs, having just one day every week to spend along with his kinfolk. in keeping with Crystal's one-man Broadway exhibit of an identical identify, "700 Sundays"--referring unfortunately to the time shared by way of an adoring father and his committed son--offers a heartfelt, hilarious memoir. photographs all through.

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89 Why did it take _so long to get relief supplies to Puerto Rico? For every planeload of food, they had to send four planeloads of portable radios. \ President Bush was visiting Moscow, and on his first morning, he went on a visit to the Moscow Zoo. The proud keeper showed him to a large cage, where a huge bear and a little lamb were housed together. " the President asked. " "That's wonderful," the President exclaimed. " "Yes," the keeper replied. Y GIIOSS JOXES How obsessed with money was Jim Bakker?

What does a Mormon girl say when she introduces her date at home? "I'd like you to meet, Mom, Dad, Mom, Mom , Mom, Mom . " 49 J ULIUS ALVIN What's Jewish bondage? Having your money tied up. Why did they call the Polish girl a quadrasexual? She'd do anything for a quarter. 50 Chapter Two: Gross Celebrity Jokes What is Dan Quayle's answer to the abortion problem? Sterilize all the storks. How many vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb? None. Dan Quayle's always in the dark. 51 JULIUS ALVIN Did you hear that Congress passed a bill to rebuild Puerto Rico after Hurricane Hugo hit?

What do they call a black girl who keeps running away from home? A virgin. I. " She lifted up her arm and pointed to the growth underneath. "He wants me to get ridda this. " The proprietor nodded. A few minutes later she walked out of the store with hedge clippers. Why is a JAP like a prizefighter? She won't go into action until she sees a ring. What's hairy, wrinkled, and hangs out underwear? An Italian mother-in-law. 36 PAINFUUY GROSS JOKES Why did the birth rate in Poland go up dramatically?

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700 Sundays by Billy Crystal

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